Well, I've been reflecting a lot on how much things have changed in the past 9 months of my life. It's amazing to think that 9 months has passed since I was first diagnosed. What an wild and crazy ride this has been these past months. Some things have changed for the worst and some things for the better. I'm going to post the top 5 changes for better and for worse!! =0) Just reflecting...
Top 5 GOOD changes...
1. I eat SO much healthier than I ever did before. I'm trying to eat a new vegetable each month.
-April was Spinach--I didn't used to like it but I do now!! I didn't try anything new in May. -June was Red Pepper, I put it in everything and now I like it! July is avocado month..let's see if I can
acquire a taste for avocados. I'm not sure on that one...
2. I'm more thankful for each and every day I'm alive and (relatively) healthy. I don't take things for granted like I used to.
3. I'm so grateful to not feel sick and to have energy to be a Mom!!!
4. I am learning to cook healthy meals and I'm trying to bake without refined sugars. I've even started reading cookbooks..
I'm such a nerd! I wasn't into cooking/baking before so this is a brand new Heidi!
5. My testimony and faith in my Lord Jesus Christ has grown so much. I know Heavenly Father has a plan for me and I pray that I will be able to grow in the ways I should during this trial. I try to focus on the blessings and not the curses that have come from this trial that I was given.
Top 5 BAD Changes....
1. My energy level is just not what it used to be. The chemo really did take a toll on me and that's a hard thing to adjust to. I keep thinking that I'm back to my 'normal' self and then I realize that I'm not at all as energized as I used to be.
2. I have to go to lots and lots of doctor apointments. Sometimes it gets to be really draining when I am always going to the doctors for some sort of check up or another. I realize this is a big part of my life going forward, there will always be lots of doctor apointments, but sometimes it is really overwhelming and tiring for me. Not to mention getting babysitters..ugh..
3. My arms...its so sad, I have lots of arm issues. My right arm his multiple areas of numbness which really bothers me, I'm still getting used to that. (from chemo infiltrating my tissues) My left arm is forever weak due to surgery and node removal, and now my chest area and upper arm are even more damaged due to radiation. I have to stretch every morning and night or I'm in a lot of pain. Picking up Kyler is hard if I don't plan it right because it causes me pain..this won't ever go away either...
4. The unknown...the unknown is really hard. Not knowing if I have a cancer cell growing in my big toe or not. With my type of cancer the 5 year mark is the real milestone. Until five years I'm not considered cured..so for now its just a waiting game. That is really hard. I try not to focus on it but every once in awhile it really is overwhelming and I just cry and cry.. =(
5. Making decisions that are so hard!! Right now I'm faced with a lot of big decisions and its just so hard to know what to do next. I have a lot of life-altering decisions to make this year, and then next year there will be more decisions. Many people think that because chemo and radiation are over that I've 'made it'. But really some of the hardest choices and life changes are still to come. That's one of the hardest challenges for me.
So there you have it..some of my thoughts on the 5 best and worst changes that have come from this trial.
Thanks for all your love and support!
Love, Heidi
