I've Lost That "Lovin" Feeling!

Ok, so maybe I haven't lost that lovin feeling but I have lost some feeling in my arm. =( I'm very sad about it actually. My oncologist said I may regain feeling within months to years to maybe never. He said based on the fact that I have numbness already he said I most likely won't recover feeling in that area of my arm. =(

Let me backtrack for those of you that are confused as to WHY this is happening. Two weeks ago during chemo I had my second issue with the chemo infiltrating my tissues. What this means is that all of a sudden during my 4 hour long IV drips the chemo stopped going into the vein and started leaking into my tissue. The first time it happened it was very quick and horribly painful so in retrospect I realize not much got into my tissue. This time it was a very slow infiltration and it felt a bit cold so my nurse got me a hotpack for my arm. Then within 5 minutes it started feeling slightly painful and when I lifted up the hotpack my arm was all poofed up with fluid!! It was horrible. After she removed the IV and I elevated my arm then it started to hurt. We had to choose a different area to hook up the IV to complete my treatment.

They told me that my tissue should absorb the chemo and it would be fine. Well within 2 days of chemo I noticed my skin was a bit itchy in spots. That was the first sign. Then it was ok for a few days. Then on Saturday I noticed some patchy spots that looked like there was fluid in my arm. Since my arms are so skinny you can tell when there is a slight change in the skin. Sunday was the scare when my entire forearm went numb in the area that the chemo had infiltrated. It was numb for about 2 hours and then I started regaining feeling again. It's been on and off for the past week and a half--sometimes it is very numb, like it is annoying how numb it is. Right now its slightly numb but unless I scratch my arm or someone touches my arm I can't tell.

I met with my Oncologist last week and asked him about this. He said the chemo I'm on is neurotoxic and so it makes sense that if it leaked out into the tissue that I would have permanent nerve damage on my arm. =( So sad isn't it? I told him how it didn't happen with the last infiltration but he said different factors, locations, nerve endings, etc. can affect all of that differently. He told me it is a better place to lose feeling than my hands or feet. Which is true....that was a risk with Taxol..it causes permanent nerve damage in hands and feet of some patients.

So I guess all in all I need to count my blessings, but needless to say I am very nervous for my next and last treatment of Taxol. I do NOT want anymore problems and I'm really sad that I've lost feeling in my arm....may sound silly but it's just a constant reminder now of what I'm going through.

I'm getting used to the numbness in my surgery area so that's no big deal, but the arm thing is harder for me. Thanks for reading and thanks again for all your prayers for our family!
Love, Heidi