Well today it was confirmed by my Neurosurgeon...I need to go back on steroids. Last fall, being on steroids, that was the darkest and hardest few months of my life and I can only hope that I don't have to experience a HALF of the side effects during the upcoming months.
I've done pretty well with seizures the past month, but the past few days I've had vision problems and issues with headaches that weren't resolved by taking medication. Today, after my MRI, Scott and I were shocked to see how much swelling is in my brain. It looks like close to a fourth of my brain is swollen! It's crazy, really, really crazy. I said I'd never go back on steroids so I think for me I needed to see how bad it really was--comparing January till July--to be convinced that there was no other option.
Dr. Jensen took one look at my scan, turned to me and said "Heidi, you have two choices...you either go back on steroids, or I surgically remove the tumor. There are no other options." So I decided to go with the steroids for now.
I'll be on a very low dose so I'm sure hopeful that things will be manageable. I feel so overwhelmed and I'm so scared to go through this again. I feel like I have enough trials and challenges right now and I don't think I can handle anything more, but apparently I have to.
Please keep our family and my tumor in your prayers. I've been given 7 weeks....after which time I'll have another MRI. If that MRI doesn't show improvement then I will have to resort to brain surgery and that is so scary for me.
I'm trying to take it one day at a time and not be too overwhelmed but I hope I have the strength to endure...right now I feel like I want to curl up in a ball and have my problems disappear!!
At least I don't have new any new tumors...gotta look on the bright side right?
Love, Heidi
13 comments:
You know our love and prayers are with you and the family. Thanks for the update. We love you and are here for you if you need us. Love, Pam
You know our love and prayers are with you and the family. Thanks for the update. We love you and are here for you if you need us. Love, Pam
Heidi,
You're in our prayers and we think of you often. I hope these next few weeks go well for you. You are such an inspiration with how positive you are.
Love,
Ronni
I am sending much love and hope to you and your family. I really hope things go well and I am glad to hear all of the updates. Stay upbeat and know you are very loved. I am always just a phone call away if you need to chat! much love, marisa
You have been in our prayers for awhile, and we will continue to pray for you, for the strength you need, the peace you want, and for your tumor, that it will shrink, and the swelling go down. Thanks for sharing your fears, joy, and testimony with us. Life is hard for you right now, and we pray you find a peaceful place.
Heidi, I'm so sorry about the steroids. I know they did not agree with you at all. I would love to come and see you in a couple weeks just to pop in an say Hi, I miss you! Let me know where you're at, I could use a Heidi hug! =) Love ya and I'm praying for you.
Heidi...what an amazing STRONG person you are. Your upbeat attitude despite your many struggles is AMAZING to all of us. We will of course continue to pray for you and your family. Think of all of the people who love you and are rooting for you and hopefully that will help you get through these very difficult days on steroids.
Love,
Kristen
Heidi, I am praying that the altered dose of steroids totally changes the experience that you have with it. Thank you for keeping us all updated on your path to wellness. You are always in my thoughts and prayers but I will be thinking and praying for you often in the next few months. Wellness will be the focus of my prayers you are so deserving of it. Kendall
Heidi, my thoughts, hopes and prayers are with you often. I will especially be praying that the next 7 weeks brings good results. Love Katie
Hi dear friend!!! You are in our thoughts and prayers always. We think of you all the time and miss you all like crazy!!! I'll be bringing Mickey to St. George sometime in August, hopefully. Then I'll be heading up to my mom's in springville. I may have to venture a little further North and come say hi for a day!!! I'll keep you posted. Hugs and kisses to all! Jo Deann
You are such an inspiration Heidi! Your strong fAith and positive attitude is amazing! God is using you! You are our thoughts Nd prayers. I pray things go better this time around. Let me know if there is more I can do. I may be in Searrle but I'll do what I can! Love Jenny
Heidi, What's 7 weeks, right??? You've come this far you can do this!! I know you can. We will all be praying for you. I think about you all the time!
Love, Ashlee
Heidi, You and your family are continually in our thoughts and prayers. Thank you for letting us know how you are doing. You are a warrior and we all see your standard...faith, family, hope.
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